The journey
from knowing something’s amiss to finally knowing that it’s cancer is an
arduous one. Today I want to take you through this ten day journey that I went
through. Those ten days that flew by so quick back then were in hindsight life-altering.
There are
several stages to be crossed before you can be sure of the verdict. Mine
started with a visit to the gynaecologist. I wanted her to tell me that the
lump that I was feeling was nothing; rather she told me to get a sonography and
also some routine tests (CBC, Sugar, and Thyroid) done. She also suggested getting
a pap smear done to understand the health of my cervix. In addition to this, she noticed that the
outer covering of my nipple was cracked and there was a discharge when you pressed
it. Thankfully, she had the good sense to also send this fluid for further
analysis.
Thus began
the endless rounds of visits to the hospital and diagnostic centre for me. I
went for my sonography. My sonographer asked me a number of questions on
whether my breast hurts, whether I fell on it, or if anyone had hurt me in that
area, or whether I had a family history of breast cancer. My replies to almost
all of her questions were in the negative. She wasn’t too happy with this and recommended
a biopsy of my left breast. This was the first inkling I got that something was
seriously wrong.
Luckily I
had an appointment for the pap smear with my gynaecologist right after the
sonography. I happened to mention to her that my sonographer didn’t look
pleased. It seemed like alarm bells rang in her head then. She asked me to
immediately meet the oncologist and personally called him then and there to book
an appointment for later that day. All
this was happening too fast for me to process any of it. I still thought
(hoped, really) that all this would point to nothing.
Later that
day, I met the oncologist who physically examined me and saw my sonography
report. He felt the sonography images weren’t sharp enough and wanted better
pictures. It was now his turn to rush me
to the next doctor (a radiologist this time) for sono-mammography. For the
second time that day, I saw a doctor get in touch with his colleague right in
front of me explaining my case. He was told that they were closing for the day.
He insisted that they hold on for a while longer so that I could get a consult
and tests done that day itself. By this
point, having met two doctors and after two long sonography sessions, I was
exhausted. I still didn’t know what to make of the urgency of all of these fine
medical professionals. I felt may be I have chanced upon a very efficient lot.
I went to
the radiologist’s office, got done with this set of tests and proceeded to have
a word with her. She’d just had a phone call with my oncologist and reported her
findings to him. I asked her the only question that came to my mind then, “Does
it look too bad?” and she said “Yes”. Even now, when I recollect, I feel I saw
a hint of tears in her eyes. She bid me goodbye saying “We have seen many
survivors in this hospital”. That sent shivers down my spine. It suddenly dawned
upon me that this was ‘serious shit’.
As I look
back, I feel the diagnosis of cancer is the most layered that I have
encountered so far. Even after this episode with the radiologist, I was told by
all of the doctors that nothing can be said with certainty until the biopsy. Along
with the biopsy, the oncologist now also wanted me to get diagnostic tests done
for every possible organ in my body.
Luckily, a
week before all this mayhem I had picked up “A Suitable Boy” which happens to
be the longest novel ever published in the English Language. I was spending far more time in the hospital
than at home then and Mr. Seth was great company (He still is. I think I’m going
to rename this book as Cancer Book 1).
The biopsy reports
came in a day later, and confirmed everyone’s fears (everyone here is doctors
and two others who knew what I’d been up to for the previous few days).
I then also
had to get a PET scan done as the last screening to verify if these unwelcome
guests in my body were sitting anywhere else. Fortunately they weren’t.
Nevertheless
these various reports indicated that my cancer was fast growing and my doctor wasn’t
comfortable waiting too long to act. So my surgery happened within a week of my
last test. I’m still recuperating. The next stage (chemo) won’t begin until I’ve
completely recovered from the surgery.
I have an
appointment with the Rockstar (this is what everyone now calls my oncologist
because of his towering presence and flying visits) in a bit. I received my
path report (This report is prepared post-surgery and has essential information
on the tumour, nature of cancer cells, and many other details) just last weekend.
I would be discussing the report and the further course of action (Fingers
crossed) with him.
In my next
post, I plan to write in detail about my diagnosis and course of action.
Everything about cancer is laden with jargon which I had to painstakingly deconstruct
to make better sense of reports and diagnosis. I would be glad to share this
with readers of my blog.
Stay happy!
A!
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