Monday, July 27, 2015

Unknown Unknowns to Known Unknowns

The journey from knowing something’s amiss to finally knowing that it’s cancer is an arduous one. Today I want to take you through this ten day journey that I went through. Those ten days that flew by so quick back then were in hindsight life-altering.

There are several stages to be crossed before you can be sure of the verdict. Mine started with a visit to the gynaecologist. I wanted her to tell me that the lump that I was feeling was nothing; rather she told me to get a sonography and also some routine tests (CBC, Sugar, and Thyroid) done. She also suggested getting a pap smear done to understand the health of my cervix.  In addition to this, she noticed that the outer covering of my nipple was cracked and there was a discharge when you pressed it. Thankfully, she had the good sense to also send this fluid for further analysis.

Thus began the endless rounds of visits to the hospital and diagnostic centre for me. I went for my sonography. My sonographer asked me a number of questions on whether my breast hurts, whether I fell on it, or if anyone had hurt me in that area, or whether I had a family history of breast cancer. My replies to almost all of her questions were in the negative. She wasn’t too happy with this and recommended a biopsy of my left breast. This was the first inkling I got that something was seriously wrong.

Luckily I had an appointment for the pap smear with my gynaecologist right after the sonography. I happened to mention to her that my sonographer didn’t look pleased. It seemed like alarm bells rang in her head then. She asked me to immediately meet the oncologist and personally called him then and there to book an appointment for later that day.  All this was happening too fast for me to process any of it. I still thought (hoped, really) that all this would point to nothing.

Later that day, I met the oncologist who physically examined me and saw my sonography report. He felt the sonography images weren’t sharp enough and wanted better pictures.  It was now his turn to rush me to the next doctor (a radiologist this time) for sono-mammography. For the second time that day, I saw a doctor get in touch with his colleague right in front of me explaining my case. He was told that they were closing for the day. He insisted that they hold on for a while longer so that I could get a consult and tests done that day itself.  By this point, having met two doctors and after two long sonography sessions, I was exhausted. I still didn’t know what to make of the urgency of all of these fine medical professionals. I felt may be I have chanced upon a very efficient lot.

I went to the radiologist’s office, got done with this set of tests and proceeded to have a word with her. She’d just had a phone call with my oncologist and reported her findings to him. I asked her the only question that came to my mind then, “Does it look too bad?” and she said “Yes”. Even now, when I recollect, I feel I saw a hint of tears in her eyes. She bid me goodbye saying “We have seen many survivors in this hospital”. That sent shivers down my spine. It suddenly dawned upon me that this was ‘serious shit’.

As I look back, I feel the diagnosis of cancer is the most layered that I have encountered so far. Even after this episode with the radiologist, I was told by all of the doctors that nothing can be said with certainty until the biopsy. Along with the biopsy, the oncologist now also wanted me to get diagnostic tests done for every possible organ in my body.

Luckily, a week before all this mayhem I had picked up “A Suitable Boy” which happens to be the longest novel ever published in the English Language.  I was spending far more time in the hospital than at home then and Mr. Seth was great company (He still is. I think I’m going to rename this book as Cancer Book 1).

The biopsy reports came in a day later, and confirmed everyone’s fears (everyone here is doctors and two others who knew what I’d been up to for the previous few days).

I then also had to get a PET scan done as the last screening to verify if these unwelcome guests in my body were sitting anywhere else. Fortunately they weren’t.   

Nevertheless these various reports indicated that my cancer was fast growing and my doctor wasn’t comfortable waiting too long to act. So my surgery happened within a week of my last test. I’m still recuperating. The next stage (chemo) won’t begin until I’ve completely recovered from the surgery.

I have an appointment with the Rockstar (this is what everyone now calls my oncologist because of his towering presence and flying visits) in a bit. I received my path report (This report is prepared post-surgery and has essential information on the tumour, nature of cancer cells, and many other details) just last weekend. I would be discussing the report and the further course of action (Fingers crossed) with him.

In my next post, I plan to write in detail about my diagnosis and course of action. Everything about cancer is laden with jargon which I had to painstakingly deconstruct to make better sense of reports and diagnosis. I would be glad to share this with readers of my blog.

Stay happy!
A!


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