Of Long Pending Thank You's

I was feeling terribly low since morning, sulking and snapping at anyone who gathered the courage to reach out to me. Suddenly the bell rang and the courier claus announced I have a delivery. I am one of those people who is forever expecting stuff that I've ordered from all sorts of e-commerce platforms. But today I wasn't expecting anything, no pending deliveries.

I curiously opened the packet and saw a lovely grey throw blanket in it. Suddenly it struck me that my friend had told be about something that she was sending and said "It will hopefully be helpful, and easy to bring on your hospital visits when the air conditioner is harsh". I was so moved seeing this thoughtful gift from a friend who herself is forever between three continents (may be two).

I have been at the receiving end of such generosity from the universe who chose to bestow it on me through many kind people who walk the earth. This post is a compilation of long pending thank you's for people who've helped me and still continue to help me deal with my situation.

• Thank you for being an Oncologist. From day 0 of my encounter with the disease, you've been around to answer all my queries, and oversee my treatments. You were patient enough to hear my  views even when you didn't at all agree with it. I am forever indebted to you and cannot thank you enough for taking out time.

• Thank you for sending me Eckhart Tolle's "Now". The moment it came to me was when I had started questioning the point of all this. I was so overwhelmed by the possibility of a future encounter with the disease that I had stopped appreciating the present. Also thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts.

• Thank you for giving me a virtual tour of Japan. I am so restricted in my movements that a glimpse of a world that I am not inhabiting was mighty refreshing. I think whenever I visit Japan next, it will technically be my second.

• Thank you for parking your car outside my house in case some emergency happens and I need a vehicle. It is quite a big deal, though you may never admit it.

• Thank you for taking me for a haircut. I desperately wanted to do something fun and change my look. You were so enthusiastic about the whole process and didn't cancel even though a friend was around and you were slightly unwell. I love my new look so much!

• Thank you for sending your favourite bag all the way from Canada. I am so surprised you remembered that I loved it and had the heart to part away such a gorgeous bag.

• Thank you for throwing such a lovely birthday party. I don't remember the last time there were balloons and streamers on my birthday. It is definitely one of my favourite birthdays.

• Thank you for the Kindle. On most days when I am about to hit rock bottom, I curl up in my bed and open my Kindle and I float and am slowly back to an okayish space.

• Thank you for the Ipad keyboard. I write most of my posts on it and don't have to carry my bulky laptop everywhere.
• Thank you for sending a pen drive loaded with the latest seasons of all my favourite shows and the bluetooth speaker all the way from Kolkata. I have forever wanted to own a speaker but never bought it.

• Thank you to all those kind people who come to visit me every now and then. The funny bit is most time we don't even discuss the elephant in the room. We talk about random stuff and real life problems and I feel normal all over again.

• Thank you to everyone who keeps checking on me. It's really hard to feel lonely and miserable when so many people keep you in their thoughts.

• And the mother of all thank you's goes to that person who has kept me in her healing space from the moment she knew I was about to start this journey. Every Time I am in distress she knows and I either get a text or call from her. My journey with Cancer would have been so different if she hadn't helped me see the "why" of it from the beginning. Essentially, the learning is this: Your body is communicating with you through disease and discomforts. Medicines of any form are there to cure the disease, which is necessary. But they're also killing the messenger. I am still understanding the message that my disease is trying to convey and hopefully the breakthrough will come soon enough.

I guess this is an ongoing post and I may have to do part 2 or 3 of it. It feels so wonderful to count your blessings. We should all do this exercise at least once a year, in sickness or in health.

Till I write again!

P.S: I don't like mentioning names on my blog but I know when you read it you would know it's you I've thanked.

P.P.S: There is no I way I could not thank my family for what they have done for me. I can see how this has impacted their lives and how it is changing them as people. I wish this didn't have such far reaching effects